Saint Nick is feeling the pinch of the recession, and it has made him desperate. Retail numbers have improved from those of Christmas 2009, however Santa Claus is nervous. He’s gripping the reins tighter than the cling of Inez Sainz’s jeans. Sadly, it appears that change might have involved illegal activity. Which makes the Rhode Island newspaper headline "Santa Claus robs yacht club" just another sign of the times, reports The Providence Journal.
Santa Claus crook
Don't question if there is a Santa Claus, because he proved to one yacht owner he does exist. I guess robbing gas stations wasn't bringing Santa in enough green, he needed to rob somewhere more upscale. According to Lt. Raymond Blinn of the Providence Police, a man dressed in a Saint Nick suit entered the East Providence Yacht Clubhouse on Pier Road Sunday evening at around 7 p.m. His gift of toys was not to give away, however rather to fill up with money. It was noted that Saint Nick wasn't so saintly when he pulled out what appeared to be a gun of some type.
There was clearly no shots fired an everybody in the yacht clubhouse was uninjured.
This Christmas could have been a great deal less merry
Buckshot isn’t typically associated with Saint Nick, which makes this craven display of felonious holiday cheer all the more jarring. Even if Terrible Santa was merely packing rock salt, the trust of true believers may have been shaken. At least the so-called magic man dressed in red with snow-white beard was wearing jeans. That’s not elf-standard attire. Patrick Swayze would have picked up on the ruse immediately and dished out some "Roadhouse"-style justice. If it was indeed Santa Claus, he could easily fly up the chimney to escape a roundhouse kick.
Local authorities continue to investigate this situation, however Santa did get away with some green within the mean time.
Citations
The Providence Journal
newsblog.projo.com/2010/12/east-providence-yacht-club-rob.html
Another Santa has struck before
youtube.com/watch?v=dUJARL0B3aA
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